Not the way I deserve to be loved
by PenguinofProse
Summary: Short OS in which Echo realises it's time for her to get on with being a strong independent woman, because that is what she does best. Implied Bellarke.


**a/n So I can't be the only person in the world who thinks Echo is absolutely awesome but ships Bellarke? I think Echo deserves better than spending so much time in Bellamy's shadow in the show, and being hated for getting in the way of such a popular ship. And then I found myself thinking about the parallels between this situation and S1-2 Clarke/Finn/Raven, because this show likes to be self-referential, it seems. And I found it particularly interesting because in the original books, there is no Finn – his character is a facet of Bellamy's character. And also the whole one party thinking they would never see the other again thing. And, anyway, this happened...**

The silence stretched out between them, as it had done all too often of late. Bellamy was snatching glimpses at the table where Clarke sat alone, and pretending not to, while Echo got on with demolishing her portion of stew. After all, the fact her boyfriend of one hundred and twenty eight years was in love with another woman was no reason not to keep her strength up. She had survived worse things before, and based on their current track record, would probably have worse things to survive again.

"Are we ever going to talk about it?" She asked, at length, the first words to pass between them since they had sat down.

"I don't know what you mean." He made a show of stirring his dinner. She was pretty sure this was the first time he had actually noticed what he was eating, so apparent was it that his attention had been elsewhere.

"Clarke, obviously." She debated upending his supper over his head to convey her exasperation, but decided against wasting the food.

"There's nothing to talk about." He tried for a shrug, but she knew him too well to buy it.

"Don't lie to me, Bellamy." She snapped, her patience exhausted. "I'm a _spy_. I notice things. And frankly I'd have to be an _idiot_ not to notice the way you look at her, the way you drop everything and run off without hesitating the moment she's in danger."

"She's my family." Well, at least he was being honest now, even if he was only saying half of what she felt he could. "And I'm all she has left."

"What are me and Raven and Murphy and Emori and Jackson and Miller and everyone else in this damn camp then?" She felt her voice rising above a dignified level and forced herself to calm down. It ought to take more than a bit of emotion to ruffle her feathers. "Just because she's not easy to get close to doesn't mean we don't care about her."

"You really mean that?" Some irony, she felt, to the fact that this was the first time he'd looked at her with that much emotion in, well, years, what with cryosleep being what it was.

"Of course I mean that! Even I have to admit that she's a pretty impressive woman." She knew she'd chosen the wrong adjective the moment it left her mouth, but it was too late to take it back now.

"She's not only _impressive_, Echo." He looked hurt, and she couldn't blame him. "She's brave and kind and warm and even, actually, _fun_. Only no one ever seems to notice any of those things because she's too busy saving the human race all the damn time!" He concluded with a considerable dose of bitterness. And she could see why, really. If there was one thing that Bellamy had taught her, it was that Clarke deserved a break.

"Yes, yes, I know." She tried to calm him down. "You've been quite a good spokesperson for Clarke Griffin's more human side over the years." She needed to keep better control of herself. There was a little too much of a bite to that last statement.

"You say that like it's a bad thing." He responded petulantly.

"Sometimes it felt like it was." Her mask was starting to slip, it seemed. Damn Bellamy. He'd always been a little too good at seeing the real Echo.

"I never meant to hurt you." He offered now, and she thought it was probably the first time he'd told her the truth about their relationship in quite some time.

"And I never meant to fall in love with you while she was still alive, but these things happen, it seems." She finished her stew and put her spoon down with a clang.

"I do love you, you know that, right?" He met her eyes at last.

"Not the way I deserve to be loved. Not the way you love Clarke." She stared right back at him. She couldn't back down from this now.

"I'm sorry." He offered simply.

"I'll get over it." She assured him. "I think it's time for me to be my own woman for a bit. A hundred and fifty something years and I've never really tried that."

"I think it'll suit you." He smiled slightly as he reassured her, and she found herself feeling strangely at peace. Their relationship would evolve, and they would always have each other's backs, but the ending of this chapter was long overdue.

"I think so too." She nodded at him, once, picked up her empty bowl, and went to get on with the rest of her life.

**a/n Thanks for reading!**


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